Someone, somewhere needs to unplug the new Yankees’ Super Wet road jerseys and plug them back in. Luckily, after months of MLB’s silence, it appears Nike will be up to the task, shouldering the blame for redefining “moisture-wicking” as “creating enough additional visible moisture to drown a horse.”

New York Yankees v Houston Astros / Tim Warner/GettyImages

MLB finally decided this week that their players matter more to them than billion-dollar business relationships when they released a scathing statement condemning Nike’s unnecessary, cheapening changes to the product year-over-year. In said statement, the league admitted that they shared a non-truth when they claimed the pants hadn’t been altered, instead noting that the “seam stitch count” would be returning to the old number as of 2025 (in other words, pants won’t shred anymore).

According to Jeff Passan’s recounting of the internal memo of support MLB sent to its players regarding the 2025 changes: “This has been entirely a Nike issue. At its core, what has happened here is that Nike was innovating something that didn’t need to be innovated.”

No one will be happier to hear that than Yankees left-hander Carlos Rodón who, amid a sterling start to the season, has been lovingly roasted by any and all comers (and his wife Ashley) over the way he turns the Yankees’ new road grays black. Nike will be maintaining their Vapor Premier design for next season, but will be enlarging the numbers, changing the zippers and, perhaps most crucially, “address the new Nike jersey’s propensity to collect sweat.”

Yankees left-hander Carlos Rodón’s sweaty jerseys will be cleaned up, thanks to Nike…in one year

Sorry, Carlos. You’ve got one more year of this dripping wet nonsense.

Other than the ability to turn a darker shade of gray than originally intended, like a Hypercolor spoon you’d get out of a ’90s cereal box, the Yankees’ return to traditional road jerseys — sans-white piping — has been a visual success. If you were waiting to purchase yours until 2025 while you saved up the requisite $400 cash (fix that, too, dillweeds), it seems likely the versions available to the general public will stay materially the same. After all, the breathable design isn’t going anywhere.

The ones players will be handed seem likely to improve significantly year-over-year, though, and that’s what really matters. After all, theirs are the jerseys that are supposed to feel like an accomplishment to obtain, rather than like a rum-soaked sponge covered in buttons.

Now, one more thing. As Tyler Kepner said, please change the All-Star Game jerseys back, too. People will still buy the Home Run Derby Workout Day jerseys. People will most definitely still buy them. As long as they have $400 loose dollars. Dillweeds, all of them.